Enjoy with your heart, but believe with your mind and keep your eyes open love was never meant to be blind and foolish. Let’s enter the most important 9 questions you need to ask before you walk down the aisle.
1. What does marriage mean to you and your fiancé? This question helps you understand the basic concept you and your fiancé have of marriage. Being a wife or husband is like being partners of a startup firm. If both spouses have very different views of what this implies the marriage won’t ever be managed effectively.
2. What does the union seem like to you and your fiancé? You’re deep in love and have a picture in mind of what the union will look like 5, 10 and 25 and years later on. Your fiancé also has anticipation of what the union will look like and how it will function. These expectations may be quite different so get them clear early on.
3. Why did you fall in love? This needs to be clear as well especially when the storms and challenges come. You need to always have this beautiful story to reflect on and help refocus your own feelings.
4. What is your purpose in the marriage? Getting married is more about what you bring to the relationship than that which you can get from it. There’s a very particular set of motives that make you the best person for your partner. You need to understand how being you and fulfilling your potential will add tremendous value to your spouse.
5. What is the point of your spouse for a partner? No matter how well together you believe you are, your spouse also has value to add that will make you a better person.
6. Who are you as a special person? You want to take the time to figure out who you are before attempting to become one with somebody else.
7. Who’s your fiancé as a unique unique person? Aside from enjoying who you are as a special person you need to appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé as well.
8. What problems have you already noticed? Love is not blind; love sees the best and minimises the worst. Love lets you know that the issues didn’t stop you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the issues and bring them to the light.
9. What are the expectations you have for your life? Frustration comes when expectations aren’t met. In marriage you’re most likely to blame your partner when these are not met. Your life expectations need to be measured against what you and your fiancé agree on for the marriage.
Taking the time to answer these 9 simple questions can help save you from the pitfalls that have wrecked many couples. Reduce the risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions about the color of bridesmaids dresses, menus and flowers.