These Things You Should Know Before You Tie The Knot

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Enjoy with your heart, but believe with your mind and keep your eyes open love was never meant to be blind and foolish. Let’s enter the most important 9 questions you need to ask before you walk down the aisle. Cocoa Beach Bat Removal

1. What does marriage mean to you and your fiancé? This question helps you understand the basic concept you and your fiancé have of marriage. Being a wife or husband is like being partners of a startup firm. If both spouses have very different views of what this implies the marriage won’t ever be managed effectively.

2. What does the union seem like to you and your fiancé? You’re deep in love and have a picture in mind of what the union will look like 5, 10 and 25 and years later on. Your fiancé also has anticipation of what the union will look like and how it will function. These expectations may be quite different so get them clear early on.

3. Why did you fall in love? This needs to be clear as well especially when the storms and challenges come. You need to always have this beautiful story to reflect on and help refocus your own feelings.

4. What is your purpose in the marriage? Getting married is more about what you bring to the relationship than that which you can get from it. There’s a very particular set of motives that make you the best person for your partner. You need to understand how being you and fulfilling your potential will add tremendous value to your spouse.

5. What is the point of your spouse for a partner? No matter how well together you believe you are, your spouse also has value to add that will make you a better person.

6. Who are you as a special person? You want to take the time to figure out who you are before attempting to become one with somebody else.

7. Who’s your fiancé as a unique unique person? Aside from enjoying who you are as a special person you need to appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé as well.

8. What problems have you already noticed? Love is not blind; love sees the best and minimises the worst. Love lets you know that the issues didn’t stop you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the issues and bring them to the light.

9. What are the expectations you have for your life? Frustration comes when expectations aren’t met. In marriage you’re most likely to blame your partner when these are not met. Your life expectations need to be measured against what you and your fiancé agree on for the marriage.

Taking the time to answer these 9 simple questions can help save you from the pitfalls that have wrecked many couples. Reduce the risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions about the color of bridesmaids dresses, menus and flowers.

 

Are You In Control Of Your Brain?

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Are you in control of your life? Or are you a slave to your brain’s desire for chemical bliss?

I recently watched a presenter’s Cocoa Beach Rat Removal TED Chat titled “The secret to desire in a long-term relationship” that led me to ask this very question of myself. As the title suggests, this TED Talk was about long-term relationships and why so many modern marriages end up failing. The speaker, a relationship therapist named Esther Perel, pointed out that modern-day couples often fail because they expect their partner to meet two contrary human needs: the need for comfort and reliability and the need for novelty and excitement.

This invaluable insight made me realize just how much of our lives could be regarded as a quest for both of these states of mind. Sex, for example, is often known to be fueled by novelty. Gary B. Wilson’s popular book and website Your Brain on Porn, as an example, explains how addiction to online pornography is actually an addiction to the dopamine rush one gets from finding a new video of attention. While it might appear easy to scoff at those addicted to internet porn, this tendency is a microcosm of our society’s increasing reliance on technology and the easy access to dopamine spikes this permits. Those of you reading this report, ask yourselves: what motivation lies behind this act? The entire self-improvement movement is based around little dopamine rushes struck when one believes they have attained a “success.”

I don’t think so. Prior to the invention of computers or smartphones allowed access to porn, people got their fix elsewhere: playboy, sensual call facilities, peep-show booths, and Victoria’s Secret catalogues all attest to that. Sure, the ease of access now is unprecedented but it’s still the same story of the mind seeking out dopamine. In the 1950s Leave it to Beaver-esque presence, the archetypal business man had to have his evening pipe, slippers, and paper. Is this not the picture of dopamine seeking? Instant gratification, comfort, and novelty all rolled into a satisfying ritual.

Alright, so we accept that we are controlled by our brains, what then? Is there some value in that understanding? Should we try to counter this behaviour? Some believe this is the purpose of religion. In the Middle Ages, for example, the Church played a vital role in controlling sexual knights who returned from Crusade with an unhealthy appetite for killing, raping, and pillaging. Biologically, those knights were likely chasing a similar dopamine rush to “addicts” of all kinds today.

Many religions impose rules that work to suppress our unhealthy appetite for self-satisfaction, to become more selfless, and care for others. The obvious caveat to this is that performing a “selfless” deed could become a different way of securing that exact same rush of positive feelings–and become a selfish act in itself. Believing that charity gets one into paradise is not any different than believing that the slot-machine you’ve been playing will eventually “pay out.”

Naturally, philosophers and religious scholars will contend that selfless acts add into the world–that has a net positive impact. I don’t deny this. But my point here is that nearly all of our lives are controlled by the need to feel “good” either by novelty or familiarity.

Does this make life less meaningful?
Are we self-serving addicts?

The answer to the latter question is, in a true sense, yes. Most of our lives are spent chasing pleasure. However, that doesn’t need to be a bad thing. While it might be responsible for the continuing prevalence of Keeping up with the Kardashians, the human brain’s dopamine reward system is responsible for everything humans have generated that is charming, glorious, divine, delicious, or just plain cool, in this world.

So, go ahead, indulge in some reality TV, sex, and chocolate and invite your mind because of its (self-interested) service.

 

Do You Know What Luck Is?

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You know, because this has such a universal title in a sense, I thought I would write a “little treat” for my readers. A treat that explains an often misunderstood aspect of reality which seems to happen by chance, but really happens by consciousness. I will explain the realities of fortune and earning attempt. I heave heard of luck defined as preparation meeting opportunity, I agree with this. But, what I don’t agree with is the making of luck appearing like an outer force outside of ourselves and our consciousness of reality. Sure, people have unfortunate and lucky things happen to them, I will not deny that, however, to an extent our realities are created through our attempts clear and not obvious.

In a sense, I do agree with the functions of Rhonda Byrne on “The Secret”, but a couple of elements are missing: Such as the patient development of consciousness and reality before thoughts become things and not simply thoughts becoming things instantly. Truth is what we make it through our overall consciousness really only, sure. But, it must be developed in a patient, understanding and tolerant way realistically if the progression to such realities is slow or fast.

Really, we create real lasting fortune and luck, genuine lasting luck and luck doesn’t create us. Why do you think lottery winnings without a consciousness behind them are lost and spent so fast or those who have it “too good” occasionally mess up so bad. We must develop the consciousness behind the fortune for the fortune to continue really.

Indeed, to put it mildly, fortune is a deliberate fact we create within ourselves, not something that only happens to us “Palm Bay Raccoon Removal” to put a logical spin on words that shows the reality of all situations. We are all developed from inside ourselves to be what we are. Complex or simple, this is the real and honest truth about it all and it might appear slow, and drudgery to some, fast liberating from depending on outside forces to others, but make not a single mistake. I know it applies to all in life, everything and existence. Winner or loser is a reality within our souls, souls, and minds, no less and no more. We are what we earn ourselves to be through our consciousness. Take it how you want, but this is the way I really understand it.